Fluff Generator Aug 19th

There are few things that I find more ridiculous (and hilarious) than marketing fluff. By that I mean the needlessly vague and grandiose language used in many tech sales pitches. It’s intended to get you excited about a product. But, almost always confuses and alienates the reader.

This morning my boss asked me to decipher a 9 page pitch from the "Chief Marketing Officer" of a new venture. I’m going to assume this is probably a couple guys in a garage who spent 9 pages of fluff (and my time) to tell me they’re building a niche online directory and I should be excited about listing our organisation on it.

But, I found it to be a perfect example of marketing fluff and thought that maybe I could post an excerpt with merge-fields ready to go for entrepreneurs who need a quick copy/paste solution to their marketing collateral.

How’s this for shakespearian genius:

[webappname] is an internet based system designed to fill the communication and collaboration void in [industry]. Through innovation in internet and mobile phone based technology, [webappname] seeks to effectively connect, empower and mobilise [businessname] to work together for the advancement of [corebusiness].

Yep, it’s so vague that you can apply it to almost any Web-App, Industry and Business combination.

There’s a lesson here: cut the fluff. If your sales pitch doesn’t get to the point quickly, then you’re probably turning potential customers away.

If you want to boost your reputation, do it through testimonials from existing customers. No one likes the person who can’t stop telling you how great they are — don’t be that person.

Be concise. Be honest. Tell people who you really are and what you really do, and do it quickly.